Part 5: Can life get any better than this?

The day that I sought internet guidance was a glorious one. I did actually find a few useful tips out however I also found some things out by myself.
For example, do not leave the phone anywhere. Sitting in the spare room (yes, my friends that's sitting, not slumped on the floor!) brushing my hair, I heard my mobile go off in the bedroom. Could I get it? Don't be ridiculous. I could not even get up off the chair.  Therefore the phone had to wait. A watched kettle never boils or is it an unanswered phone never stops? It went on and on and I was half tempted to run for it because it was really niggling me. That was until I remembered that my foot was in pot, I was useless on crutches and I had a step to jump up. Besides that, it had taken that long to get on the chair, I wasn't all of a sudden going to give that up!
Exciting news for me was that my friend, Janey, was coming round today. That really motivated me to force those trousers on, brush my hair and even put on face cream and lip gloss. Lip gloss? I know. No, I wasn't expecting to kiss poor Janey and I am pretty sure that Janey wasn't expecting to kiss me either! Thinking about it, I have absolutely no idea why I did it. It's not like I wear it normally! After thinking about that, I moved my lip gloss to the 'invalid table' so that anyone who comes to see me will now observe the spectacle of me wearing it. (Of course that will totally divert any attention away from a big potted foot, unwashed hair and elasticated trousers!)
This was the day that Nick bought me a present. Living in an old terraced house, we do not have the luxury of a downstairs toilet or an en-suite. That is until now. I am now the proud owner of a hi gear portable toilet. This is basically a bucket with a seat on. Now, I don't have the horrendous journey of mountaineering upstairs every time I need to wee. I can do it anywhere I like! Front room, middle room, kitchen, bedroom - the sky's the limit! Armed with toilet roll and antibacterial hand wash, I realised that most of my toilet troubles were over. However, sitting on the bucket in the front room did make me think about this whole stupid episode and believe it or not, prompted me to write this blog. It also made me think about how I may need thicker living room curtains! Can life get any better than this?
Nick did comment, "What is worse? Peeing in a bucket or having to empty the bucket that's been pee-ed in!"